my 27th

It's two hours before my 27th birthday.

For the past years, we just had dinner somewhere, complete family.
Now, I think things are going to change. Not the usual.

Right this very moment, I am writing with a fuss. My lola wakes up every 10 minutes, calling for me, my siblings, her inang, and all. Every night she is like this. In the morning, she is normal, in the evening she gets another character, one who is so feared being alone. She can't have a good sleep every night till 5am, my lola becomes fine when the sunrise touches her face, when she hears vehicles, noise. We are in this situation for almost three months (i don't want to keep counting). Just 2 weeks ago, her caregiver went out for an important matter, we-I mean-some of us (family members) did a rotation taking care of her. Everyone did sacrifice. We are all working, we are all busy. But, we need to attend to her needs, whether fancy or not.

Well, they say, this is not an extraordinary condition. Filipinos are patient, steadfast to such things, taking care of the olds, very far compared to a western culture.

These past days, I've become bewildered. I attended some of my classes without any sleep. It even reached the point that I would want to cancel my classes, but its not facile. (My lola wants her bantay to stay up all night and early morning, eyes wide open, she shouts when nobody looks after her).

Just by now, she keeps calling me.

It's not really having no sleep that annoys me, more than that, it is something terrifying.
I just realized that not everyone wanted to take care of her, not everyone is patient, not everyone is willing, and that there are only few maybe two or three who are real. I feel bad, very bad. Sometimes they do not want to do it anymore, pointing fingers, escaping, the likes. And that's the reality. Not everything lasts, when one suffers, he gives in. A person becomes different when troubled.

A classic professor named Morrie said, everyone is afraid of aging, without knowing that it begins your true living, aging and dying give you reason to celebrate much in life. True. When we know that we are aging, or dying, or when our loved one is aging or dying, we become more passionate. In my case, I have been another person, so as my relatives. (Good or bad, I cant tell.)

My lola is 73, she is so strong, she used to be so strong. All her life, she protected all of us, she guided us all while growing up.

On May, she will be 74, weak, which she hates indeed, now her life changes, we need to protect and guide her while recovering. I can't promise to do this forever, as long as I can, I will be involved. Well, This might be my simple birthday wish, for God to give me nothing else but more patience.

This night until later, I will be beside her. I will be 27, going to celebrate this in a novel way. It may not be so glamorous, enchanting, happy, But I am sure - it will be meaningful .